I'm Back

So i haven't been on in ages. Sorry... Alot has happened. I met a really great guy but then i fucked up and i pushed him away. Do i reget it? HELL YA!!! but i guess i learn for m my mistakes. I wish i had the guts to call his and apoligize. I guess i would if i knew for sure he would accept. ( Rogelio Vega) I'm sorry. But i guess i'm too much of a chicken. Let's see Since then i've become an aunt, Emma born on december 26. 2004 at 5 pm 8.09 oz 20 1/2 inches long, my niece is the cutest little thing ever. UMMMM... i sent my ex back all his crap ( thanx roger for giving me the courage to do that) and as soon as i did i started to move on with life. Ya i know, i know, it's about damn time. And I met Albert. the new guy in my life. I mean ya he could be an ass sometimes but i'm still smitten. Bad thing is that he's in the hospital right now, he got into a really bad car accident and broke the left side of his pelvic bone in 3 places ( ouch!!). He actually just got transfered to a different hospital yesterday and is scheduled for surgery on Monday. I should be there with him, but a guy is a guy and he doesn't want me to see him in that condition. He even got his best friend to try and convince me to stay away until he got out. But it's been 3 1/2 weeks since he's been in there and a month and a week since i last saw him and i told him today that i will be there on tuesday no matter what. He finally agreed (yea!!!). I've been going out alot more with my friend Kevin, he's the best, He took me to saphire and let me order what ever i wanted but i only really finished one drink and tasted the others and then gave them to him. Madori sowers for me please. Although i want to tast a Long Island Iced tea and a Tokyo Tea . He says there good but i'll get fucked up. It's cool i trust him, he's a true friend. And he likes to give me shit about Albert. But yeah i guess that's all for now take care and much love...

gross

So it's all hot and gross. Ummm i'm visiting my father in a couple of weeks. I'm kinda scared of that. I don't think i'm ready to talk to Milton. buit i have to. And i know if I don't do it soon it's just gonna get harder to talk to him. But whatever. I was talking to my friend the other day at work and freekin Lorena who was 2 aisles down said out loud ,"Ruby, can you stop flirting?" I was so embarassed. I mean i've known this guy since we were in high school. I wasn't flirting i was talking. Now if they had seen me earlier that day when i was touching him then she could have said that. Hahaha. Well whatever i'm just having fun with the guysat work. let my friends think that i'm flirting. Even though i'm just talking to them. Things at work suck, you can feel the tention. I hate the drama. And a cold is going around and everyone is getting sick. Bleh. Well life is pretty much the same. Nothing different. Everthing the sdame. So i guess that's it for now. Much Love...

HOT!!!!!!

It has been so freakin hot fot the past few days. I hate it. I've been gone for like a month, but  nothing has happened. Well i mean alot of drama surrounding my sister. I wanna really get out of this house. I might finally get my tatoo in 2 months. So i might have to get out of my house. LOL!!! ummm well i've been busy and tired with work and school. it's been dollar week at work so it's super busy and we've been getting out an hour later then usual. I'm so freekin tired. lucky for me i don't have a boyfriend so i don't have to feel guilty about neglecting someone. Woo Hoo!!! Freekinf Frank, every time i see him at work after i give him a hug to say hello he always askes me where his his is at... I tell him in the same place his million dollars is... in his dreams. LOL!!! the weird thing is, is that someone else who knows the both of us says frank always gets mad at him when i talk to him or if he talks to me. I don't know why i mean we're just friends. Weirdo. But other then that and a couple of dates there hasn't really been anything new. So until next time. Much Love...

So long for now

So i think this will be the last blog i'll be writing in a while ( a little one i hope) I have somethings to work out conserning my father, my ex, the guy i'm "seeing", and friends. I've slowly been pulling away from all theses thinds or a little from all theses things. I wanna work on being friends with my ex but i know a few of my friends will look down on this. So i've been pulling away from them because i just don't wanna hear it. I haven't called my father in a while cuz i know i have to have a very important conversation with him and it just my break the already very delicate fabric of our father daughter relationship, The guy i'm seeing is great. he tries to help but i've been pulling away from him too. i've been up to some pretty sady stuff and it all started with the net so i will be logging off for a while. No i'didn't get sucked into the world of internet porn LOL i just need sometime away from everything. I just wish everyone will understand. That i'm not pulling away from them to be a bitch or so i won't be there friend anymore i just need to work some of this stuff out on my own. It's the way i do things. It's really weird i know but i have to work stuff out. The last time my ex and i talked it was like dejavu we had the exact conversation we had the very first time we talked. I kinda ran from it. and i haven't talked to him since. So Milton if your reading this i'm sorry for being a bitch and foreverything else, for all the bad stuff i've written about you and all of that. I hope we can be friends one day. And to every one else i hope you understand. I hope to talk to you all soon. I love you all... Much Love...
Ruby

Guilty or what

Dude alot of ppl must be fealing guilty. or at least alot of my friends do cuz 2 ppl emailed me and one called me and 2 others bloged there responce to my blog from a couple of days ago about a stupid chick who's been ratting me out to my sister. They all swear i was talking about them.LOL it's kinda funny but it kinda sucks at the same time. It's funny cuz alot of people think i'm talking about them (includeing a guy cuz i call guys chicks when i'm pissed) But it also kinda sucks cuz now i kinda think that there feeding my sister info about me. Hmmmmmm. i dunno whatever. if my sister wants to know i will always tell her. But whatever. here's how to tell if i'm talking about you in my rants:

A) i email you and talk alot of shit
B) I confont you about something (cuz that's always fun)
C) i call you and confront you (not as much fun but i get a kick out of it)
D) i write you a letter (not so much fun)

Yes i did confront the stupid chick about my last rant. She's such a silly hoe. she tried to deny it. Whatever. I just htink it's funny that my friends that are also my sisters friends think that they are the only mutual friends she and i share. at least that's what it seams like. Yes my sister and i do have more than one mutual friend. It's also funny how more then one of my female friends say there single when there really not. i thought i only knew 2 that did that.(esp. w/ my guy friendwow what a shock) I guess you learn something new everyday. So there. If i didn't confront you personaly the rant wasn't about you. And if you feel like i've been ignoreing you don't get all butt hurt i just have alot on my mind i'm off in my own little world. Now to copy and paste this in my other blog. Dang all of this over some stupid chick and a rant. I think i'm gonna have to start talking about peole by name. HAHaHa yeah they would really like that. Much Love...

Blah

Blah

Well i'm having a pretty blah day today. I have to walk to work in a little while. I don't wanna go i'm tired of working at Target. I wish i never worked there. But if i didn't i wouldn't have met alot of my friends like Eric and Lauura (there's alot more) But yeah. if i wasn't working there i probably would have gone to see my father already. it's been just about 6 months. Well i was up pretty late last night nothing to do and all. Well no i'm lieing i had a little chat with one of my friends which put me to sleep really quick. But i was up until like 2. The a text message (no it wasn't my ex this time) Just a friend who wanted to say hi since i haven't spoken to him in a while. But god couldn't he have waited till a decent time to send it. I mean call ok but a text at 4 in the AM? sheesh. so yeah that's pretty much my day just lounging around the house talking to people. So i was surfing around myspace (check it out)
and i found this survey and you know how much i love surveys so here i is it's short and sweet.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find the fourth sentence. Write down what it says.
since there was no 4th sentence on page 18 i went to page 19 is that ok?
"you know, these kinds of things wouldn't happen if teachers at this school would do their jobs and actually teach once in a while" The Princess Diaries volume 2 : Princess in the spotlight

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
the wall

3. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.
12:40 pm

4. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
1:00 pm

5. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
the radio

6. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
yesterday when i went out to get dinner

7. Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
My Space.com

8. What are you wearing?
Jeans and a black tinkerbell shirt
9. Did you dream last night?
No

10. When did you last laugh?
this morning on the phone with a friend

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
2 posters, a shelf. and a certificate from the international star registry

12. Seen anything weird lately?
the site devoted entirly to poo (and no not the bear)

13(a): What book are you currently reading?
I haven't really been reading anything lately (how sad)

13(b): What is the last book you finished?
A walk to remeber

14. What is the last film you saw?
13 going on 30

15. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A really good computer

16. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I hate the color orange

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?


18. Do you like to dance?
maybe if i knew how to i would

19. What is the last thing you ate or drank?
some stuff i cooked with a diet coke

20(a). Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Cheyanne

20(b). Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Jacobe or joshua middle name Ignacio ( it was my granfathers name)

21: Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes

Your new personal guide to stalking me

FIRSTS:

1.First best friend: Marisol Tapia
2.First car: 98 jeep grand cherokee
3.First real kiss: Milton
4.First break-up: Miton
5.First screen name: Angelb2
6.First self-purchased album: (don't laugh)Hanson :Middle of nowhere
7.First funeral: Great grand mother
8.First pets:Snuggles and cuddles cats
9.First piercing/tattoos:my ear
10.First credit card: Student Visa (there evil)
12.First enemy: Dunno
13.First big trip: Merced, Ca (does that count?)
14.First music you remember hearing in your house: some gospel song
LASTS:

1.Last cigarrete: along time ago
2.Last car ride: Today to get dinner
3.Last kiss: about 3 weeks ago
4.Last good cry: When my ex broke my heart
5.Last library book checked out: Some book on Frida Calo
6.Last movie seen in theatres: 13 going on 30
7.Last beverage drank: Fruit punch gatorade
8.Last food consumed: Weinerschnizel (is that how you spell it?)
9.Last crush: My ex Milton
10.Last phone call: Todd
11.Last time showered: this morning
12.Last shoes worn: My chucks
13.Last item bought: Gatorade and some candy
14.Last annoyance: People
15.Last time wanting to die: 5 months ago
16.Last time scolded: I dunno
RELATIONSHIPS:

1.Who are your best friends?: don’t have any friends I consider my best
2.Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: no

FASHION/STUFF:

1.Where is your favorite place to shop?: Old Navy
2.Any tattoos or peircings?: my ears are pierced twice

SPECIFICS:

1.Do you do drugs?: nope
2.What kind of shampoo do you use?: Garnier Fructice for color treated hair
3.What are you most scared of?: my heart being broken again
4.What are you listening to right now?: Hoobastank
5.Where do you want to get married?: In a church somewhere
6.How many buddies are online?: 4 on yahoo 1 om aim
7.What would you change about yourself?: Lots of stuff
8.. Birthday: 11/18/83
9. Tattoos: Not yet. Give me a couple of months and get back to me with this question.
10. Height: 5' 4
11. Shoe size: 7- 71/2 depending on the shoe
12. Hair color: light brown (from a bottle)
13. Hair Length:a bob right just touching my shoulders
14. Pets: Cat : Fat Boy Hamster: Piggy
15. All I need: is love
16. Love is: a lot of work
17. If I could see one person right now: My grandpa on my moms side.
18. I'm afraid of: being alone



FAVORITES:

1.Color: black,blue and green
2.Food: Don't have any favorites
3.Girls Names: Cheyanne Rene Janasha
4.Boys Names: Jacobe Maliki Joshua
5.Subjects in school: Fire Technology/Art (double major)
6.Animals: Lots (do you really wanna know?)
7.Sports:baseball (Go Dodgers)
8.Perfume: Curve, Hugo boss and some new one i can't remember the name
9.Cologne: Hugo Boss, and some other stuff but i don't know what it's called but it smells yummy

HAVE YOU EVER?

1.Given anyone a bath?: (do babies count?)yes
2.Smoked?: yeah, along time ago
3.Bungee jumped?: Nope but i want to
4.Made yourself throw up?: nope
5.Skinny dipped?: nope
6.Been in love?: yeah
7.Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: no
8.Pictured your crush naked?: yes
9.Seen your crush naked?: ya
10.Cried when someone died?: well not many people have died that i know. so i don't know.
11.Lied?: i have
12.Fallen for your best friend?:yes
13.Been rejected?: Alot
14.Rejected someone?: ya
15.Used someone?: i dunno
16.Done something you regret?: yes but i can't change the past so i guess i hope i learned from it.
CURRENT:

1.Clothes?: Black pants and a black shirt that says I Love Nerds
2.Music?: punk, ska pretty much everything
3.Make-up?: yes
4.Annoyance?: People
5.Smell?: Ginger cirtrus bodywash
6.Favorite artist?: Frida Calo & Monet
7.Desktop picture?: Some gorilla with her baby
8.Book your reading?: A walk to remeber
9.Cd in player?: Hoobastank
10.Dvd in player?: Broken but i think i left Finding Nemo in there.
11.Color of toenails?: Clear for now

LAST PERSON:

1.You touched?: Mom
2.Hugged?: Miguel
3.You imed?: Alain
4.You kissed?:Matt

ARE YOU:

1.Understanding?: very
2.Open-minded?: yes
3.Arrogant?: nope
4.Insecure?: nope
5.Interesting?:very
6.Hungry?: not right now
7.Smart?: smart enough to not date good friends
8.Moody?: I can be if i'm mad
9.Hardworking?:very.
10.Organized?: just enough where i can find all my stuff
11.Healthy?: Ya, i just started working out for the first time ever.
12.Shy?: I can be but mostly no
13.Attractive?:I think i'm a nerd but you would have to ask other people
14.Bored easily?: no
15.Responsible?: yes
16.Obsessed?: Books
17.Angry?: at times
18.Sad?: A little but i'll get over it
19.Disapointed?: yeah
20.Happy?: Yes i have a great family and really good friends
21.Hyper?: no
22.Trusting?: Not at first... i have to get to know you
23.Talkative?: I can be
24.Legal?: I will be legal to drink in 7 months but other than that yeah.

WHO DO YOU WANNA:

1.Kill?: nobody
2.Slap?:people
3.Get high with? nobody
4.Look like?: people say my mommy but i don't know
5.Talk to offline?: everyone
6.Talk to online?: my friends
7.You want more tattoos? Not more just 2 for now


RANDOM:

1.In the morning i am: morning? what is morning?
2.All i need is: Love
3.Love is: i dunno right now hurtfull...
4.I dream about: getting evicted

WHICH IS BETTER?:

1.Coke or pepsi: Coke (diet)
2.Flowers or candy: Never gotten either from a guy. but i have given flowers to a guy before
3.Tall or short: Tall

RANDOM:

1.What do you notice first: Eyes then there smile
2.Last person you danced with: Oscar
3.Worst question to ask: are you pregnant? Cuz I’m not
4.Who makes you laugh the most: Eric & Joey
5.Who makes you smile: David
6.Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: No one
7.Who do you have a crush on: no one at the moment
8.Who has a crush on you: your guess is as good as mine

DO YOU EVER?:

1.Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: I have
2.Save conversations: nope
3.Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: no
4.Wish you were younger: no
5.Cry because someone said something to you: yes



NUMBER:

1.Of times i have had my heart broken: 1
2.Of hearts i have broken: none that i know of
3.Of guys i've kissed: 3
4.Of girls i've kissed: 0.
5.Of continents i have lived in: 1
6.Of tight friends: 1
7.Of cds i own: i dunno i've never counted them
8.Of scars on body: too many to count (i'm a bit clumsy)but i have a big one on my heart

Last...
1. Movie you rented: Cast Away
2. Movie you bought: Rudy I bought it as a Christmas present for my ex because Notre Dame is his fav. school. But oh well.
3. Song you listened to: Paper Heart by the All American Rejects.
4. Song you had stuck in your head: Manic Monday (thank you Marylou)
5. Song you've downloaded: N/A
6. Person that called you: Joey
8. TV shows you've watched: Friends
9. Person you were thinking of: Joey


For or against...
1. Long distance relationships: For, only because my ex and I lived 247 miles apart
2. Using someone: No
3. Suicide: I don't know yet. But I could understand why people would think it was the right choice
4. Killing people: Against
5. Doing drugs: It's your body, go ahead and mess it up as you wish.
6. Driving drunk: Against

Final Questions:
1. I want: Peace of mind
2. I wish: that I could go back in time and change things
3. I love: life
4. I miss: My friend Milton,
5. I fear: being alone
6. I hear: The dogs barking out side
7. I wonder: What life has in store for me
8. I am: cold
9. I will: Not look to the past but strait ahead to the future

Two faced or what?

You know i consider myself to be a person who gives everyone a chance. I didn't used to be this way. i used to cut people who i once considered good friends out of my life as often as i change my clothes. And it didn't matter. You coud give me a weird look or if i got a bad first impresion of you i wouldn't even give you a second glance let alone be your friend. But when i finaly saw what i was doing i was like i have no friends what am i doing. So i decited it was time for a change. i started giving people chances i would have never given them before. But for what so people could walk all over me? There's this person who i considered my good friend, i used to confide in her. but i've found out that everything i told her in confedence she turned around and told my sister. she even had the balls to tell my sister she was worried about me cuz i was always on the net talking to guys. This chick had the nerve to do that and then come to me and do the same to me with my sister. so now i was worried about my sister and she about me. But the thing that pisses me off the most is that this chick is on the net more than i am and also talkes to guys. Hey at least i don't have a boyfriend, so when i say i'm single i'm actually telling the truth. I can't even believe that this chick even has the nerve to come to me as a friend and expect me to still confide in her. Whatever. I don't think i can ever trust her again. and i can't have friends who i can't trust. Cuz if you can't trust your friends and your family then you can you trust? So this is my rant. I've been keeoing it inside for a couple of days.(more like a way long time cuz i've known about it for just about a year and i've just been very careful what i say around this chick until i had prof about it) and i needed to get it out. But it's like i'm trying to change then i meet people like this that make me question why i even want to cjange. but i still want to give everyone a chance. I don't really know if i believe in second chances though. maybe that much of my old self will stay the same. Much love...